So, I'm not particularly fond of doctors.
Are you? I can think of only 1 person who I can honestly say I know loves doctors and not because he is one or anything of the sort. I think my biggest qualm is really that they're not just doctors, but doctors in the USA. More specifically, doctors who studdied and got degrees in the USA. Now before you jump on me and start calling me names for being racist towards Americans and all that jazz hear me out.
I go to school here in the US.
I like going to school. I love to learn and I love everything and almost anything that pertains to expanding the mind and broadening horizons. But, I'll be the first to admit that school in the states is entirely too easy. On a public standpoint the level of education in the US doesn't come close to most Eurpoean schools, that's a given. But one thinks that colleges and universities are supposed to offer a richer more indulging sense of education and dedication to learning. I know that many schools do, they just happen to cost an arm, a leg, one eye, and half my soul. And I'm not even saying that you need to go to some expensive, over the top learning institution in order to recieve a good education or make something of yourself. The reality of the situation is that if you're smart, if you're good at something, if you work hard for something that you want, it doesn't matter where you go to school .. you're going to go places. But getting into school here is so easy. And I guess that's what really scares me. It's not the hard working people who are going to school to do something great and better their quality of living. It's the people who go to school to do something for money, or because they want to make more money and really have no passion or care towards what they're trying to attain. It's the 3 nights a week dental hygienists school that promises $60/hr job at completion and a degree to certify your ability to assist a dentist and touch other people's mouths in a medical fashion. Meanwhile, the school itself costs somewhere around $4000 (books and everything included) and will admit anyone into it's program. That's the school that scares me. Those are the degrees that make me fear doctors. Your doctor might have a degree from a really nice school, but who's to say they just barely passed. Why do they make you sign an agreement before any major surgery that if anything should happen to you during the "standard proceedure" that they are completely not liable for anything, even death. That freaks me the heck out.
Lawyers?
Malpractice law firm lawyers can make $70,000 a year. Why on goodness' green earth are there so many of them? "of all the malpractice payment reports made world wide, over 80% of those payments were made by United States doctors with the whole rest of the world accounting for just 20% of all payments made for malpractice"(Michael Russel, http://tinyurl.com/kwu324)
That freaks me out even more.
Now, don't think that I wasn't afraid before. That I suddenly developed this fear of doctors and that I've been completely oblivous to these feeling before hand. Oh no. Ever since first coming to the US I've been iffy of doctors. In Spain, when your ear hurts you go the local pharmacist and he can give you something to cure it and stop the pain. Spanish chemists differ to those in the US, they are qualified similar to your local 'general practioner, this saves queues waiting to see the Doctor and can also save money. They are highly trained and are a great resource as they provide free medical advice for minor ailments. They can supply a wide range of medicines over the counter without a prescription. Many chemists stock homeopathic and herbal remedies. Here if your ear hurts, you need to go to the doctor or the emergency room if you can't stand the pain, then get diagnosed with an ear infection or something of the like, then get a prescription, and then you can go pick that medicine up. Not to mention a lot of driving around, a lot of having to handle pain and a lot of money. So you can understand my woes. Maybe. It just feels like every little thing that happens here you need to pay a high bill for a doctor when it's not really neccessary. It's just annoying.
And it can freak a Spanish girl out ya know?
So, I have my dentist appointment coming up on September 8th. The same day as the line dancing event thing that I'm very much looking foward to attending. I'm actually trying a new dentist. The program that I'm going to be participating with, in general is relatively scary to me I suppose. Mostly because it's not going to be actualy dentists looking at my teeth. It's going to be dental students doing everything, supervised by specialists. So maybe I'm a total idiot for agreeing to this. I mean, aside from the fact that it's less than half the cost of a regular dentist even with insurance .. which sure can be very appealing, there are no real benefactors. I guess the fact that there will be specialists supervising every aspect and proceedure makes me feel a little better. I can afford a regular dentist, a specialist .. not so much. So on the other hand maybe this is going to be a totally good thing. Maybe it'll be great. And maybe I'll end up with nerds or pez for teeth. Ugh. Gotta think positive. *breathe* I shouldn't anticipate this with horror. I know that it's going to be okay, it's just scary. I feel like a little kid for freaking out so much over this.
Then last night I talked to Pedro.
And Pedro had a really awful experience with dentists here. Which indubitably brought my every misdoubt, pang, apprehension, and indecision to life. He had his wisdom teeth removed and a couple cavities. Nothing too spectacular right? Oh no. So very, very wrong. The so called professional dentist drilled too far up in the cavity and removed too much jawbone when he removed the wisdom teeth. So he was in pain, he got an infection and to top things off he had to get prosthetic jawbone pieces and over a year later is still paying for it. Gee golly wilikers. That totally makes me feel awesome about going to the dentist. Really.
So! I totally had pancakes for breakfast.
Along with lots of sugary, sweet syrup. Mmm. My new dentist will utterly love me don't you think? Let's just hope I come out alive .. and with all my teeth. A lollipop wouldn't be bad either, one of those lemon ones. :)
And for the record .. Americans totally invented pizza and stuff right? So could I not love you crazy Americans! (just picking on you .. it's all out of love I promise <3)
Peace, Love & Pancakes
-Lib
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
On my mind
So, I've really been wanting to write a blog.
I have this thing where an idea will get into my head and until I write it down or do something with it's glorious being, it won't go away. Sometimes I'll write the thought or ideology down and then I'll keep writing with full intention of eventually passing it on to this blog or some other form of the written word. It usually doesn't happen like that. And then I scold myself. And then stuff happens. So my intent right now is to not have any particular thought or in any one state of mind, but instead share and communicate all the things that have recently (or not so recently) been on my mind.
I love my mom.
I know that at times I have a tendency of talking a lot about her. People that talk to me a lot can testify. I know it can sound corny and get boring sometimes, but I talk to my mom a whole lot. She's one of the most interesting people I know. (and I'd like to think I quite a bit of people, keeping in mind how many millions of people actually exist and thinking about the fact that I am indeed just one person) She has a lot of life experience and has a lot of knowledge. She's intelligent and thoughtful. I really enjoy conversing with her most of the time. This of course affects our mother daughter relationship in a positive manner and I'm grateful that we can be close and share our thoughts and opinions, and at the same time have such different views about .. pretty much a lot of stuff. (I almost said everything but truth is our core and foundation is almost exactly the same as far as values are concerned) I feel like in a lot of conversations I say "I was talking to my mom and .." or "I was having this conversation with my mom and she said .." Now, it's not that she's the only person I talk to or listen to, or that she's the only person who has any effect on me. It's just she has a lot of great things to say and often times I want to share that with people because I think they'll appreciate the message or idea pertaining to whatever current conversation me and that person are having at any present time. I think a part of me many times feels like the things she says need to be shared with more people because she herself has a difficult time expressing them because of her lack of English. Either way I feel really lucky to have her as a mother and an important figure in my life. Not just as a family member but as an intellectual counterpart that I can be honestly open with and talk to. She's just that great.
That leads me to wanting to say thank you.
Not just to my mom but to lots of people. To the people who aren't just my friends but people I can count on to be there for me. People who are honest with me and won't judge me on stupid or superficial things. People who genuinely love and care about me for who I am, not what I can do or how much I'm willing to them them. The people who have influenced me in a positive way and people who want to see me progress and reach farther life because they know that I can and know that I want to. To the people who share things with me, not just the bad stuff that makes you want to cry or tear your hair out, but the happy thoughts and silly happenings of every day life that remind us that life isn't television or a band account but a series of memories and a series of events that makes every moment worth living. To the people who can share the things they love with me and know that I'll appreciate it and at least try it even if I can't myself share a passion for it too. To the people who worry about me and send me pictures of pancakes with smiley faces when I'm sad. To anyone who's ever made me smile or giggle, and to everyone who puts everything they are into what they do. I just want to thank so many people. I love so many people. I'm not miss using the world love either. I genuinely adore and cherish so many people that make a difference and impact my life in the tiniest of ways. I want people to be happy and to lead positive lives. To eat pancakes, and see rainbows, and do things they love. Create something amazing just by putting a little piece of themselves into it. I just want to thank you so so much for everything. You make me happy, you make me think, you make me look at things differently. you make me stronger, you remind me that even though people can suck, they can be pretty gosh darn awesome too. Thank you life.
I totally just sighed in real life.
I feel like such a cornball! (hahaha) But I mean everything I said. Do you ever feel like you say something that you mean a lot but if and when someone else happens to come across it they won't take it as seriously? I almost feel nobody should take what I say seriously. At least not too seriously. Nobody should take themselves too seriously, that could be dangerous. I just really hope that my message gets across. Funny thing is, I don't always know if I have a message. Well, I guess that's not totally true. I totally have a message that I wish I could imput into everyones mind. But I mean when I write. Sometimes I write just to write .. because I feel like putting my thoughts into writing. But I don't neccessarily know if I can say that everytime I have a thought there's a reason. I mean sure .. there's a reason that thought came to my mind, but it is there an actual reason for that thought. I don't know.
I don't know a lot of things.
And I'm really completely okay with that. While I could go on and on about things that I would love to know (like why girls have to go to the bathroom in groups) there are absolutely some things that I will never mind not finding out. I don't think that I meant to not know and I can accept that too. What I'd like to know is if there's a limit. To my mind I mean. Is there only a certain amount of information that I can capture or take in before certain things disappear before I can take new things in. I've been reading this book about the brain works and I'm very much hoping to find my answer at least by the end of it. If I do happen to come across that particular bit of information I will absolutely be sure to let you know.
Books.
Boy, do I love to read. Sometimes I feel like I could read and forget about everythings that my body happens to need in order to live. Like say .. sleeping. I've recently decided to make a sacrifice .. kind of. I am not going to buy any more books. I want to buy a kindle. So the monthly budget that I have towards books, I'm going to save .. and instead in a few months buy a kindle. Great idea huh? Only problem is the not buying books part, mostly because I can't live without reading. I need to read. I'm thinking I can do the 69 cent used books from amazon thing or the download books onto my computer to read them thing. We'll see how that goes. My biggest concern with the Kindle is that once it's full of books .. I can't fill it anymore. And as of right now there's no way to take books up and store them in some alternate reality online or on a back hard-drive if I so choose to do so. That's really my biggest qualm. I'm also looking at the differences of a Kindle vs a Cybook ( I think that's how it's spelt) I've read the customer service for Kindle is superb and that returning a book is really easy. I'm still not totally convinced though. I need to do some more research before I'm totally head over heals. Either way in a few months I will be the proud new owner of one or the other. The reason I want one so badly is because of how much I can save myself. I spend at least $100 monthly on books. I read 5 -6 books and that can get costly. So if I can spend $10 a book using one of these devices .. I'm going to save myself a lot of money. Not to mention traveling is going to be so much better. Instead of lugging around a couple books .. I carry around this little device from which I can have almost any literary masterpiece which I choose to read at my fingertips. It's going to be great. I'm very much looking forward to it.
Money.
I wish I had more of it. (don't a lot of people) Not in the 'OMG I want more money so that I can buy over 9000 things and stuff' (not that I wouldn't like a new car and what not) but in the way of being able to help a lot of people. Being able to buy that $5 million machine for the children's hospital, being able to have a new hospital and new home built for the homeless animals. Help the homeless shelters. There's a lot people who need money. I will volunteer as much I humanly am capable of within my time constraints, I will talk, create, think, and do what I can. But so much of what these people is money. And I just wish I could give it to them. That's why it makes me so sick when people on welfare drive $30,000 cars and spend money on junk food and name brand clothes instead of things that their kids are in need of, like a healthy nutrition and books. (I mean c'mon, everyone needs books, growing minds especially) That's one of those things I'd love to do if I ever won the lottery. Not just give a huge check to a hospital, because that's going to go to waste. Sadly a lot of the money that gets donated goes into people's banks .. people who don't need or deserve that money. But go to that hospital's directer and talk to them about what it is the hospital needs and buy it for them. I don't want my name all over the news or anything, I don't want anyone to know I'm doing it because I don't want anyone to think I'm doing it for public image like some people do. I just want to help them. It's not that child's fault they're sick and in need of help.
Help.
I need it. I'm actually pretty bad admitting that I need it too. I'm all about helping other people. I mean if anyone needs me for just about anything I am right there. But the moment I need something .. hmm .. nah I don't need anyone! I can do it on my own! Totally. But right now I'm going to state that I do indeed need help and I'm actually open to it and wanting it. Now before you start to worry no it's not anything serious. It's just about music. I guess it's love related. More hobby related but I love music, so to me it's very much love related. I've always written poetry and written songs and what not. And recently more so than usual. My biggest frustration is that I have no music to go with my songs. Mostly if not entirely because I myself can not play an instrument nor can I read music. Now mind you It's not like I've really tried to even play around with any of those create music programs. I could probably try and I should actually now that I think about it. But even so I'd really like someone to work with. Just as a for fun thing. It's something that I love so very much. Writing songs and poetry is just on of those things that I hold so very dearly to my heart. And I know that I always will. Now don't be afraid. I'm not one of those people who is just so in love with what they do that they believe that I everything I do is a work of god and there's no room for improvement. That's the bigger reason why I'd like to work with someone. Not everything I work on is finalized, few things are. Working with someone who loves music like I do and has the ability to create music and tunes would be a lot of fun and would give me the ability to see what it is two heads are capable of doing with some of my creative flows. So, let's hear it then. Who wants to work with me?
Funny thing?
Funny thing is I don't even think anyone reads my blog. Haha! I do indeed write things to express myself and for my own benefit. But it makes me laugh how I often times write as if I'm addressing another person or group of people when in fact there's nobody else out there in interweb space. *Sigh* Okay I think that's all for now really.
I think I say 'just' too much.
At least I feel like I do. I don't think there's such a thing as too corny, too funny, or too long. So there. Yea. I'm done. I'm going to push the post button, see how far along the family is doing in terms of getting ready to go home, see what it is that I can work on as far as NYDA stuff goes, aaand somewhere in there I'll update twitter and be awesome.
Peace, Love & Pancakes
-Lib
I have this thing where an idea will get into my head and until I write it down or do something with it's glorious being, it won't go away. Sometimes I'll write the thought or ideology down and then I'll keep writing with full intention of eventually passing it on to this blog or some other form of the written word. It usually doesn't happen like that. And then I scold myself. And then stuff happens. So my intent right now is to not have any particular thought or in any one state of mind, but instead share and communicate all the things that have recently (or not so recently) been on my mind.
I love my mom.
I know that at times I have a tendency of talking a lot about her. People that talk to me a lot can testify. I know it can sound corny and get boring sometimes, but I talk to my mom a whole lot. She's one of the most interesting people I know. (and I'd like to think I quite a bit of people, keeping in mind how many millions of people actually exist and thinking about the fact that I am indeed just one person) She has a lot of life experience and has a lot of knowledge. She's intelligent and thoughtful. I really enjoy conversing with her most of the time. This of course affects our mother daughter relationship in a positive manner and I'm grateful that we can be close and share our thoughts and opinions, and at the same time have such different views about .. pretty much a lot of stuff. (I almost said everything but truth is our core and foundation is almost exactly the same as far as values are concerned) I feel like in a lot of conversations I say "I was talking to my mom and .." or "I was having this conversation with my mom and she said .." Now, it's not that she's the only person I talk to or listen to, or that she's the only person who has any effect on me. It's just she has a lot of great things to say and often times I want to share that with people because I think they'll appreciate the message or idea pertaining to whatever current conversation me and that person are having at any present time. I think a part of me many times feels like the things she says need to be shared with more people because she herself has a difficult time expressing them because of her lack of English. Either way I feel really lucky to have her as a mother and an important figure in my life. Not just as a family member but as an intellectual counterpart that I can be honestly open with and talk to. She's just that great.
That leads me to wanting to say thank you.
Not just to my mom but to lots of people. To the people who aren't just my friends but people I can count on to be there for me. People who are honest with me and won't judge me on stupid or superficial things. People who genuinely love and care about me for who I am, not what I can do or how much I'm willing to them them. The people who have influenced me in a positive way and people who want to see me progress and reach farther life because they know that I can and know that I want to. To the people who share things with me, not just the bad stuff that makes you want to cry or tear your hair out, but the happy thoughts and silly happenings of every day life that remind us that life isn't television or a band account but a series of memories and a series of events that makes every moment worth living. To the people who can share the things they love with me and know that I'll appreciate it and at least try it even if I can't myself share a passion for it too. To the people who worry about me and send me pictures of pancakes with smiley faces when I'm sad. To anyone who's ever made me smile or giggle, and to everyone who puts everything they are into what they do. I just want to thank so many people. I love so many people. I'm not miss using the world love either. I genuinely adore and cherish so many people that make a difference and impact my life in the tiniest of ways. I want people to be happy and to lead positive lives. To eat pancakes, and see rainbows, and do things they love. Create something amazing just by putting a little piece of themselves into it. I just want to thank you so so much for everything. You make me happy, you make me think, you make me look at things differently. you make me stronger, you remind me that even though people can suck, they can be pretty gosh darn awesome too. Thank you life.
I totally just sighed in real life.
I feel like such a cornball! (hahaha) But I mean everything I said. Do you ever feel like you say something that you mean a lot but if and when someone else happens to come across it they won't take it as seriously? I almost feel nobody should take what I say seriously. At least not too seriously. Nobody should take themselves too seriously, that could be dangerous. I just really hope that my message gets across. Funny thing is, I don't always know if I have a message. Well, I guess that's not totally true. I totally have a message that I wish I could imput into everyones mind. But I mean when I write. Sometimes I write just to write .. because I feel like putting my thoughts into writing. But I don't neccessarily know if I can say that everytime I have a thought there's a reason. I mean sure .. there's a reason that thought came to my mind, but it is there an actual reason for that thought. I don't know.
I don't know a lot of things.
And I'm really completely okay with that. While I could go on and on about things that I would love to know (like why girls have to go to the bathroom in groups) there are absolutely some things that I will never mind not finding out. I don't think that I meant to not know and I can accept that too. What I'd like to know is if there's a limit. To my mind I mean. Is there only a certain amount of information that I can capture or take in before certain things disappear before I can take new things in. I've been reading this book about the brain works and I'm very much hoping to find my answer at least by the end of it. If I do happen to come across that particular bit of information I will absolutely be sure to let you know.
Books.
Boy, do I love to read. Sometimes I feel like I could read and forget about everythings that my body happens to need in order to live. Like say .. sleeping. I've recently decided to make a sacrifice .. kind of. I am not going to buy any more books. I want to buy a kindle. So the monthly budget that I have towards books, I'm going to save .. and instead in a few months buy a kindle. Great idea huh? Only problem is the not buying books part, mostly because I can't live without reading. I need to read. I'm thinking I can do the 69 cent used books from amazon thing or the download books onto my computer to read them thing. We'll see how that goes. My biggest concern with the Kindle is that once it's full of books .. I can't fill it anymore. And as of right now there's no way to take books up and store them in some alternate reality online or on a back hard-drive if I so choose to do so. That's really my biggest qualm. I'm also looking at the differences of a Kindle vs a Cybook ( I think that's how it's spelt) I've read the customer service for Kindle is superb and that returning a book is really easy. I'm still not totally convinced though. I need to do some more research before I'm totally head over heals. Either way in a few months I will be the proud new owner of one or the other. The reason I want one so badly is because of how much I can save myself. I spend at least $100 monthly on books. I read 5 -6 books and that can get costly. So if I can spend $10 a book using one of these devices .. I'm going to save myself a lot of money. Not to mention traveling is going to be so much better. Instead of lugging around a couple books .. I carry around this little device from which I can have almost any literary masterpiece which I choose to read at my fingertips. It's going to be great. I'm very much looking forward to it.
Money.
I wish I had more of it. (don't a lot of people) Not in the 'OMG I want more money so that I can buy over 9000 things and stuff' (not that I wouldn't like a new car and what not) but in the way of being able to help a lot of people. Being able to buy that $5 million machine for the children's hospital, being able to have a new hospital and new home built for the homeless animals. Help the homeless shelters. There's a lot people who need money. I will volunteer as much I humanly am capable of within my time constraints, I will talk, create, think, and do what I can. But so much of what these people is money. And I just wish I could give it to them. That's why it makes me so sick when people on welfare drive $30,000 cars and spend money on junk food and name brand clothes instead of things that their kids are in need of, like a healthy nutrition and books. (I mean c'mon, everyone needs books, growing minds especially) That's one of those things I'd love to do if I ever won the lottery. Not just give a huge check to a hospital, because that's going to go to waste. Sadly a lot of the money that gets donated goes into people's banks .. people who don't need or deserve that money. But go to that hospital's directer and talk to them about what it is the hospital needs and buy it for them. I don't want my name all over the news or anything, I don't want anyone to know I'm doing it because I don't want anyone to think I'm doing it for public image like some people do. I just want to help them. It's not that child's fault they're sick and in need of help.
Help.
I need it. I'm actually pretty bad admitting that I need it too. I'm all about helping other people. I mean if anyone needs me for just about anything I am right there. But the moment I need something .. hmm .. nah I don't need anyone! I can do it on my own! Totally. But right now I'm going to state that I do indeed need help and I'm actually open to it and wanting it. Now before you start to worry no it's not anything serious. It's just about music. I guess it's love related. More hobby related but I love music, so to me it's very much love related. I've always written poetry and written songs and what not. And recently more so than usual. My biggest frustration is that I have no music to go with my songs. Mostly if not entirely because I myself can not play an instrument nor can I read music. Now mind you It's not like I've really tried to even play around with any of those create music programs. I could probably try and I should actually now that I think about it. But even so I'd really like someone to work with. Just as a for fun thing. It's something that I love so very much. Writing songs and poetry is just on of those things that I hold so very dearly to my heart. And I know that I always will. Now don't be afraid. I'm not one of those people who is just so in love with what they do that they believe that I everything I do is a work of god and there's no room for improvement. That's the bigger reason why I'd like to work with someone. Not everything I work on is finalized, few things are. Working with someone who loves music like I do and has the ability to create music and tunes would be a lot of fun and would give me the ability to see what it is two heads are capable of doing with some of my creative flows. So, let's hear it then. Who wants to work with me?
Funny thing?
Funny thing is I don't even think anyone reads my blog. Haha! I do indeed write things to express myself and for my own benefit. But it makes me laugh how I often times write as if I'm addressing another person or group of people when in fact there's nobody else out there in interweb space. *Sigh* Okay I think that's all for now really.
I think I say 'just' too much.
At least I feel like I do. I don't think there's such a thing as too corny, too funny, or too long. So there. Yea. I'm done. I'm going to push the post button, see how far along the family is doing in terms of getting ready to go home, see what it is that I can work on as far as NYDA stuff goes, aaand somewhere in there I'll update twitter and be awesome.
Peace, Love & Pancakes
-Lib
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Dr.Horrible
So, I love Dr.Horrible's sing a long blog.
I think that it's pure genius. It says so many things and it can be so sad at times, and yet it does so in a brilliant array of wit and comedy. It has so many details and makes me feel so many things. I love it so much in fact that I thought it would be a good idea to share with my mom.
Bad idea.
Last night was her birthday so she was already a little tipsy after cake. She doesn't understand english entirely and in fact often prefers to watch movies aimed at family and kids. So, she missed a lot of the humor and some major key points in the plot. I could tell she was annoyed through most of it and kept asking me what the point of it was. I didn't want to talk to her about the message or ruin anything for her till the film was over. So after it was done in possibly the most annoying tone she could've mustered she asked me again what the movie was trying to say.
The movie is a tragedy.
(Contains Spoilers)
Even in all it's comedic genius and likeable characters (even the ones you love to hate) you can not deny that the movie is sad and is indeed a tragedy. The movies most prominet message in my opinion is be careful with your priorities. Dr.horrible wanted nothing more than to be with Penny. He also wanted to change the world because in his mind society is in a rut and all the political wish wash and behind the scenes lies aren't going to make anything better .. ever. Which is what makes him a villian. The whole .. not wanting to follow the status quo and wanting to take care of humanity himself thing. In order to show Penny that he's worth something and at the same time be respected by the public so he can have a chance to change the world the way he wants to, he wants to join the Evil League of Evil (not to mention it'll ofcourse make Penny take him more seriously). At one point joining the ELE means he has to kill someone to get in and while at first there was a moral question in his mind, when Captain Hammer takes Penny (just because he knows that Dr.Horrible wants him) his feelings of murder turn into objectivity and killing Captain hammer to gain enterance into the ELE becomes an obssesion. This obsession leads him to forget his original reason for everything; Penny, and in turn through a series of accidents and poorly thought out spurts of anger leads to him (technically) killing her. Everything he ever wanted dead, because of him. Because he cared so much about killing Captain Hammer and being accepted into the ELE that he forgot to think about the consequences and bistandards.
I think that describes a lot people today.
People who start something in order to achieve something and somewhere along the line forgot their original objective and get caught up in things that suddenly seem more important. People who aren't and won't live out their dreams because bigger houses, better cars, more money, promotions, and social appearances are more important to them. What happened to their dreams of becoming firemen, astronaughts, journalists, writers, biologists, activists, and whatever else they wanted to be and do before they decided money was more important. Life is not all about money. Now, I am by no means undermining the importance of financial stability or denying that money often times make situations easier. I'm just not one to believe that in an effort to achieve that balance of having enough money to live up to one's personal standards of living, you should sacrifice your dreams and settle for short term monetary or superficial happiness. And more importantly let the world around you influence your way of thinking in a negative fashion. Just becuase 10 million people do it, does not mean that it's right. Most people are unhappy with thier life. That doesn't mean you haveto be unhappy with yours. You don't haveto live like other people.
And I hope you don't.
So, this opinionated explanation sparked a conversation with my mom. She completely disagreed with me. Not about the message of the movie because she couldn't really argue that, but of my way to view things. She thinks people don't do what they want because they need to be responsible. Because they get married and have families and can't walk around their whole life living in fairyland and wishing on stars. She also thinks some people change their dreams and lower their standards, coming to realize that just living is what's best and accepting that we're on this planet for a limited amount of time.
I ofcourse, completely disagree. Kind of.
I'm not telling people to be unhappy in their relationships and with their families. I should hope that everyone who gets the great responsibility of being a parent enjoys everything about it and holds on to every moment of laughter and learning in that experience, because time goes by quicker than you think. I fully understand some people change their dreams and not everyone knows exactly what they want to do when thier 20 years old. I'm not saying be irresponsible and do crazy things to achieve your goals. And I understand that sometimes families and love and certain actions will cause people to put their dreams on hold. My friend's dad waited almost 30 years to become a teacher (his life long dream) because he had to work at a job that would allow him to provide for his wife, 2 children and help his sick father. But he never stopped dreaming. He knew that after he retired from IBM he'd be able to live out his dream. He loves his family, adore his two now grown boys, and is completely enjoying what he's wanted to do for so long. It's never too late. Nothing says you can't have what you want except you. Life doesn't change you, you change you. You're the one who chooses to learn, adapt, and percieve your experiences the way that you do. But I'm getting off on a whim here. (A whim I happen to be very passionate about)
My message is clear.
As corny as you might think it sounds, go for your dreams and don't forget it's never too late. Above all else stick to your beleifs and what -you- want. Don't be sidelined by what the world appears to hold as valuable. Your life and everything you have or don't have is completely up to you.
As for my mom ...
it makes me pretty sad that she really thinks that way. It hurts even more that she thinks she right soley because she's older therefore being more wise and having more life experience. And while I respect her great and by no means disagree that she knows a lot more about certain things and has way more experience than me in life, I don't agree that it means she's automatically correct about everything, all the time, hands down. I'd like to think I'm an intelligent individual with cognitive thoughts, who only sometimes visits fairyland. And I wish she'd recognize that she raised me as a strong, independant thinker with the capability to grasp other people's perception and respect it without having to agree or let go of my own views. I'm an extremely positive person and so I know that a lot of my thought processes and ideoligies with clash with my mom's more tainted way (or as she calls it; realistic) of looking at life and way of thinking and tackling any situation. I don't expect that to change. But I do hope she can eventually come to see me as an equal despite my age.
I hope that time won't change me.
I don't ever want to be bitter and I hope I can stay positive and remember that happiness is a choice. I know that life happens. I'm ready for it and even if I'm not I know I'll come out of it with more knowledge and somehow find 'the silver lining'. No matter what.
SO YEA!
Go watch Dr.Horrible .. it's pretty much amazing. And please let me know what you think about it! I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm very much in need of a Dr.horrible outlet at the moment.
Peace, Love & Pancakes
<3Lib
I think that it's pure genius. It says so many things and it can be so sad at times, and yet it does so in a brilliant array of wit and comedy. It has so many details and makes me feel so many things. I love it so much in fact that I thought it would be a good idea to share with my mom.
Bad idea.
Last night was her birthday so she was already a little tipsy after cake. She doesn't understand english entirely and in fact often prefers to watch movies aimed at family and kids. So, she missed a lot of the humor and some major key points in the plot. I could tell she was annoyed through most of it and kept asking me what the point of it was. I didn't want to talk to her about the message or ruin anything for her till the film was over. So after it was done in possibly the most annoying tone she could've mustered she asked me again what the movie was trying to say.
The movie is a tragedy.
(Contains Spoilers)
Even in all it's comedic genius and likeable characters (even the ones you love to hate) you can not deny that the movie is sad and is indeed a tragedy. The movies most prominet message in my opinion is be careful with your priorities. Dr.horrible wanted nothing more than to be with Penny. He also wanted to change the world because in his mind society is in a rut and all the political wish wash and behind the scenes lies aren't going to make anything better .. ever. Which is what makes him a villian. The whole .. not wanting to follow the status quo and wanting to take care of humanity himself thing. In order to show Penny that he's worth something and at the same time be respected by the public so he can have a chance to change the world the way he wants to, he wants to join the Evil League of Evil (not to mention it'll ofcourse make Penny take him more seriously). At one point joining the ELE means he has to kill someone to get in and while at first there was a moral question in his mind, when Captain Hammer takes Penny (just because he knows that Dr.Horrible wants him) his feelings of murder turn into objectivity and killing Captain hammer to gain enterance into the ELE becomes an obssesion. This obsession leads him to forget his original reason for everything; Penny, and in turn through a series of accidents and poorly thought out spurts of anger leads to him (technically) killing her. Everything he ever wanted dead, because of him. Because he cared so much about killing Captain Hammer and being accepted into the ELE that he forgot to think about the consequences and bistandards.
I think that describes a lot people today.
People who start something in order to achieve something and somewhere along the line forgot their original objective and get caught up in things that suddenly seem more important. People who aren't and won't live out their dreams because bigger houses, better cars, more money, promotions, and social appearances are more important to them. What happened to their dreams of becoming firemen, astronaughts, journalists, writers, biologists, activists, and whatever else they wanted to be and do before they decided money was more important. Life is not all about money. Now, I am by no means undermining the importance of financial stability or denying that money often times make situations easier. I'm just not one to believe that in an effort to achieve that balance of having enough money to live up to one's personal standards of living, you should sacrifice your dreams and settle for short term monetary or superficial happiness. And more importantly let the world around you influence your way of thinking in a negative fashion. Just becuase 10 million people do it, does not mean that it's right. Most people are unhappy with thier life. That doesn't mean you haveto be unhappy with yours. You don't haveto live like other people.
And I hope you don't.
So, this opinionated explanation sparked a conversation with my mom. She completely disagreed with me. Not about the message of the movie because she couldn't really argue that, but of my way to view things. She thinks people don't do what they want because they need to be responsible. Because they get married and have families and can't walk around their whole life living in fairyland and wishing on stars. She also thinks some people change their dreams and lower their standards, coming to realize that just living is what's best and accepting that we're on this planet for a limited amount of time.
I ofcourse, completely disagree. Kind of.
I'm not telling people to be unhappy in their relationships and with their families. I should hope that everyone who gets the great responsibility of being a parent enjoys everything about it and holds on to every moment of laughter and learning in that experience, because time goes by quicker than you think. I fully understand some people change their dreams and not everyone knows exactly what they want to do when thier 20 years old. I'm not saying be irresponsible and do crazy things to achieve your goals. And I understand that sometimes families and love and certain actions will cause people to put their dreams on hold. My friend's dad waited almost 30 years to become a teacher (his life long dream) because he had to work at a job that would allow him to provide for his wife, 2 children and help his sick father. But he never stopped dreaming. He knew that after he retired from IBM he'd be able to live out his dream. He loves his family, adore his two now grown boys, and is completely enjoying what he's wanted to do for so long. It's never too late. Nothing says you can't have what you want except you. Life doesn't change you, you change you. You're the one who chooses to learn, adapt, and percieve your experiences the way that you do. But I'm getting off on a whim here. (A whim I happen to be very passionate about)
My message is clear.
As corny as you might think it sounds, go for your dreams and don't forget it's never too late. Above all else stick to your beleifs and what -you- want. Don't be sidelined by what the world appears to hold as valuable. Your life and everything you have or don't have is completely up to you.
As for my mom ...
it makes me pretty sad that she really thinks that way. It hurts even more that she thinks she right soley because she's older therefore being more wise and having more life experience. And while I respect her great and by no means disagree that she knows a lot more about certain things and has way more experience than me in life, I don't agree that it means she's automatically correct about everything, all the time, hands down. I'd like to think I'm an intelligent individual with cognitive thoughts, who only sometimes visits fairyland. And I wish she'd recognize that she raised me as a strong, independant thinker with the capability to grasp other people's perception and respect it without having to agree or let go of my own views. I'm an extremely positive person and so I know that a lot of my thought processes and ideoligies with clash with my mom's more tainted way (or as she calls it; realistic) of looking at life and way of thinking and tackling any situation. I don't expect that to change. But I do hope she can eventually come to see me as an equal despite my age.
I hope that time won't change me.
I don't ever want to be bitter and I hope I can stay positive and remember that happiness is a choice. I know that life happens. I'm ready for it and even if I'm not I know I'll come out of it with more knowledge and somehow find 'the silver lining'. No matter what.
SO YEA!
Go watch Dr.Horrible .. it's pretty much amazing. And please let me know what you think about it! I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm very much in need of a Dr.horrible outlet at the moment.
Peace, Love & Pancakes
<3Lib
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I can't even think of a word to describe how I feel right now.
Let me start by saying that Sunday I had a really long and annoying day, mostly (if not completely) because I had car trouble. I started off Monday tired and not particularly looking forward to the rest of the day. I wanted ever so badly to get some sleep .. but I had things to do. Responsibility always seems to beckon. At some point I passed out at my desk. Yes .. I slept at my desk for about 13 hours Monday night. You have no clue how surprised (kind of pleasantly so) I was that nobody woke me up. I have a couple theories as to why but we won't get into that.
Yesterday was insane. It was long and amazing and full of awesome.
Line Dancing was insane. I had no idea what I was doing and that was absolutely the best part. It was something totally new for me. Like watching those old school movies where everyones in a barn dancing with cowboy hats and boots and southern accents and stuff. It was pretty much full of awesome. I love how awesome the people were. They weren't there to try and hump you or pick up some chicks or whatever. Just to line dance, enjoy themselves, and have fun doing it. The enviroment was just wonderful.
I can't wait to go again in September.
Let me start by saying that Sunday I had a really long and annoying day, mostly (if not completely) because I had car trouble. I started off Monday tired and not particularly looking forward to the rest of the day. I wanted ever so badly to get some sleep .. but I had things to do. Responsibility always seems to beckon. At some point I passed out at my desk. Yes .. I slept at my desk for about 13 hours Monday night. You have no clue how surprised (kind of pleasantly so) I was that nobody woke me up. I have a couple theories as to why but we won't get into that.
Yesterday was insane. It was long and amazing and full of awesome.
Line Dancing was insane. I had no idea what I was doing and that was absolutely the best part. It was something totally new for me. Like watching those old school movies where everyones in a barn dancing with cowboy hats and boots and southern accents and stuff. It was pretty much full of awesome. I love how awesome the people were. They weren't there to try and hump you or pick up some chicks or whatever. Just to line dance, enjoy themselves, and have fun doing it. The enviroment was just wonderful.
I can't wait to go again in September.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Time always amazes me.
I never realize how quickly it passes by. How sometimes I look at a clock and I want this minute to go by so quickly and how other times I look at the time or the date and emerge in a state of awe because I didn't realize so much time has gone by. I get annoyed waiting in a line to pay at times and yet I'll submit myself to aimlessly watching link after link of youtube videos .. and mind you some of them are brilliant, the majority are really a waste of time. When I was younger at the end of every school year I'd reflect on my life and my experiences that past year and for a long time at the end of each year I'd laugh at myself for being so immature and making so many mistakes, promising that I wouldn't do them again next year. I'd look at the sky and compare to a painting and smile at how wonderfully beautiful it is. When each school year would start I'd think to myself .. this is a fresh start. I can make every change I want. And I'm not really sure why the start of a new school year would give me that idea or fill me with such empowerment as to think that I could make anything happen. Because, now I know that it doesn't matter what time of the year it is, what's happening or what isn't happening, the only factor stopping or pushing myself to do anything is myself. There's always going to be something going on, someone wanting my attention, some responsibility I have to take care of, something that stresses be out or has the possibilty of upsetting me. That's a part of everyday life. I can't and I won't let that stop me. I'm empowered to make a difference and get things done every single day of my gosh darn life whenever I so well please. I make the decision to do something or let something get in the way and not to something. It's me. If time surprises me because it's going by too fast thats my fault.
It's a reminder that I need to do things, not just think about doing them or want to them but actually DO them. So here's a list (or two.. or three) of things that I WILL get done.
Things I'm working on..
1.Special Breakfast Video
2.Ninjas > Pirates Video
3.Collab Channel
4.Interview segment
5.Girls Dont Play WoW Project
6.Sexy Goddess Tribute
7.Working with S.A.S.
Things I'm kind of working on..
1.The rest of the ninja songs
2.My red bouncy ball story
3.My book about Anna
4.My book about ninjas
Things I want to do..
1.Go to all 3 Harry Potter conventions next year
2.Go to the next Nerdfighter's gathering
3.Win a contest relating to something I really care about
4.Learn to play an instrument
Okay .. so in between whatever blogs my mind happens to come up with 1 week from today .. I'll post another blog and see how much closer I am to completing some of these things and which of them are already done! Because yes .. some of them .. should be done by then.. I hope!
Peace, Love & Pancakes
-Lib
I never realize how quickly it passes by. How sometimes I look at a clock and I want this minute to go by so quickly and how other times I look at the time or the date and emerge in a state of awe because I didn't realize so much time has gone by. I get annoyed waiting in a line to pay at times and yet I'll submit myself to aimlessly watching link after link of youtube videos .. and mind you some of them are brilliant, the majority are really a waste of time. When I was younger at the end of every school year I'd reflect on my life and my experiences that past year and for a long time at the end of each year I'd laugh at myself for being so immature and making so many mistakes, promising that I wouldn't do them again next year. I'd look at the sky and compare to a painting and smile at how wonderfully beautiful it is. When each school year would start I'd think to myself .. this is a fresh start. I can make every change I want. And I'm not really sure why the start of a new school year would give me that idea or fill me with such empowerment as to think that I could make anything happen. Because, now I know that it doesn't matter what time of the year it is, what's happening or what isn't happening, the only factor stopping or pushing myself to do anything is myself. There's always going to be something going on, someone wanting my attention, some responsibility I have to take care of, something that stresses be out or has the possibilty of upsetting me. That's a part of everyday life. I can't and I won't let that stop me. I'm empowered to make a difference and get things done every single day of my gosh darn life whenever I so well please. I make the decision to do something or let something get in the way and not to something. It's me. If time surprises me because it's going by too fast thats my fault.
It's a reminder that I need to do things, not just think about doing them or want to them but actually DO them. So here's a list (or two.. or three) of things that I WILL get done.
Things I'm working on..
1.Special Breakfast Video
2.Ninjas > Pirates Video
3.Collab Channel
4.Interview segment
5.Girls Dont Play WoW Project
6.Sexy Goddess Tribute
7.Working with S.A.S.
Things I'm kind of working on..
1.The rest of the ninja songs
2.My red bouncy ball story
3.My book about Anna
4.My book about ninjas
Things I want to do..
1.Go to all 3 Harry Potter conventions next year
2.Go to the next Nerdfighter's gathering
3.Win a contest relating to something I really care about
4.Learn to play an instrument
Okay .. so in between whatever blogs my mind happens to come up with 1 week from today .. I'll post another blog and see how much closer I am to completing some of these things and which of them are already done! Because yes .. some of them .. should be done by then.. I hope!
Peace, Love & Pancakes
-Lib
Friday, August 7, 2009
Global Geek Week!
Global Geek Week is HERE!
If you're into all that nerdfighter stuff (which I totally am) You'll have heard all about it but if you haven't and you want to ..
http://www.youtube.com/group/globalgeekweek
OR
http://www.globalgeekweek.com
I myself made a video about it too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s86Fl2qcp7Y
Let me know what you think! I had soo much fun making this! .. Writing the actual song was my favorite part!
If you're into all that nerdfighter stuff (which I totally am) You'll have heard all about it but if you haven't and you want to ..
http://www.youtube.com/group/globalgeekweek
OR
http://www.globalgeekweek.com
I myself made a video about it too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s86Fl2qcp7Y
Let me know what you think! I had soo much fun making this! .. Writing the actual song was my favorite part!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Everything is a mess.
Well okay fine. That's not true. In truth I can't even say that everything in just MY life is a mess. Mostly because life is designed so that you can't ever have total and utter control over your life, at least not every aspect of it. (Not that you'd want to because hey in my opinion we already spend a ridiculous amount of time worrying too much about the future) And I can't even say that everything that I do have total control over is a mess. So I guess in truth .. it's really not that messy. I just don't like having the plate I balance on my head ever so carefully, suddenly unbalanced. It's not like I can't deal with it, I can't just let the whole plate fall because the galactic lunch lady decided she wanted me to have more peas on the left side of my plate today, or because the invisible green giant chose my plate to take a huge handful of my chocolate cake off of. Generally, you'd assume that having something taken off your plate is awesome. Because it's less to carry and all. But when it disappears off your plate like an enchanted entree at a Hogwarts table, like it was never even there, leaving not so much as a crumb or a little frosting on the plate .. it's actually kind of hard to adjust to. I mean sure, I have lots of food on the plate but what if I wanted that slice of cake? What if I was saving that very slice for something special or because it was my favorite piece on the plate and I wanted it really bad. What then? Nobody asked me if I wanted that slice of cake. It was just taken. Totally gone. When something is being eaten off my cake, maybe because the expiration date is fast approaching or because fresh can be good I'm pretty much okay with it because I know that I can get more and because it's being taken away in small portions, I can sense the plate shifting and adjust accordingly. But what if this slice of cake was special and while I can get another slice of cake .. it won't be -that- slice or from -that- cake. What do I do now.
I guess it's really not messy. There's no pictures of the cake, no smudges, no frosting, not even the fork (or spoon, if one was even used) that stole it away. Maybe the cake left willingly. Maybe it wanted to upgrade from a Spongebob plate to a Silver Platter. I can't really blame it I suppose .. it was a really spectacular slice of cake. I bet it would've been good.
Argh! Now I'm hungry. >.< Damn metaphors.
Well okay fine. That's not true. In truth I can't even say that everything in just MY life is a mess. Mostly because life is designed so that you can't ever have total and utter control over your life, at least not every aspect of it. (Not that you'd want to because hey in my opinion we already spend a ridiculous amount of time worrying too much about the future) And I can't even say that everything that I do have total control over is a mess. So I guess in truth .. it's really not that messy. I just don't like having the plate I balance on my head ever so carefully, suddenly unbalanced. It's not like I can't deal with it, I can't just let the whole plate fall because the galactic lunch lady decided she wanted me to have more peas on the left side of my plate today, or because the invisible green giant chose my plate to take a huge handful of my chocolate cake off of. Generally, you'd assume that having something taken off your plate is awesome. Because it's less to carry and all. But when it disappears off your plate like an enchanted entree at a Hogwarts table, like it was never even there, leaving not so much as a crumb or a little frosting on the plate .. it's actually kind of hard to adjust to. I mean sure, I have lots of food on the plate but what if I wanted that slice of cake? What if I was saving that very slice for something special or because it was my favorite piece on the plate and I wanted it really bad. What then? Nobody asked me if I wanted that slice of cake. It was just taken. Totally gone. When something is being eaten off my cake, maybe because the expiration date is fast approaching or because fresh can be good I'm pretty much okay with it because I know that I can get more and because it's being taken away in small portions, I can sense the plate shifting and adjust accordingly. But what if this slice of cake was special and while I can get another slice of cake .. it won't be -that- slice or from -that- cake. What do I do now.
I guess it's really not messy. There's no pictures of the cake, no smudges, no frosting, not even the fork (or spoon, if one was even used) that stole it away. Maybe the cake left willingly. Maybe it wanted to upgrade from a Spongebob plate to a Silver Platter. I can't really blame it I suppose .. it was a really spectacular slice of cake. I bet it would've been good.
Argh! Now I'm hungry. >.< Damn metaphors.
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