Life

I feel so lucky in so many ways. I have so much to be thankful for. I couldn't even begin to describe them all. And yet so often I feel like I don't appreciate it all, like I could be doing more, like I don't take good care of what I have. And it makes me so sad. I was born and I have a beautiful mother who adores me, people in my life who genuinely care about me, a wonderful mind, a bright future ahead of me .. and yet I feel like I waste so much of my time. I don't know exactly what it is I should be doing differently or that I feel I should be doing differently. All I know is that I need change. There is so much beauty in the world every day. I don't understand why so many horrible things have to happen. I don't understand why people as a whole don't stop being jerks to each other. There's so much good that we could be doing and yet we don't. Life can be so complicated and so simple and so bad and so wonderful and so many things that a thesaurus would do it no justice.

I just want to say thank you so much. To everything. For giving me patience and showing me how to be a good person. For forgiving me, for loving me. I won't ever be able to thank everyone enough for the things I have and I've experienced. All I can do is try to pass it on and do better than I am.

And maybe that's all I can do. All I have to say right now.