My heart hurts a lot today.

Not the kind of immediate hurt that happens as soon as something happens, but the kind of hurt that happens over time or comes back just to remind you of the hurt that already happened. This particular incident isn't really an incident at all, it's not like something awful happened today that's made me feel this way. It's more of an accident. The person responsible doesn't really know they're doing it and that's my fault for not saying anything about it. I haven't said anything partly because I don't want to bug this person, partly because I'm afraid to find out that they don't really care (even though I know this one is probably very silly), and partly because I don't want to make anything into a big deal when it's not. So instead I suck it up and deal with it, hoping it'll eventually stop. All the small things that make me feel like this, all the little things that I'm afraid to ask for. I want to think it's this or that and for the time being I'll keep on believing that it's a whole list of other things. I don't really know what to do about it. There's nothing but time that can really make it feel better. I'm usually okay it just hurts especially today because I was reminded of it, which too is my fault.

Other than that ..

My day was happily plain complete with the gym in the morning followed closely by work, seeing a friend, eating every few hours, a surprise visit, chicken, rice, broccoli, a message from someone I've missed, lots of writing, and as usual too much thinking. I thought about the economic problem in the states, several trips that I'll be making this year, public education in the US, the lack of care in the public education in the US, the children I one day hope to have, my gray boots and how wonderful they are, getting a hair cut, going to the Chinese lady's house, classes starting again, the lack of nail polish on my nails, changing my phone number on purpose, missing my friends, the happiness that I get from reading, a set of photos that I want to take, ecology, going camping, titles, the red polka dotted white backround, and a variety of other random things.

I guess the main thing I got from today was that tomorrow is going to be better.

<3

Peace, Love & Pancakes
-Liberty